These are the last two self-esteem leeches of which to let go, release; see ya, wouldn’t want to be ya…lol….remember that saying? But it holds true here – Let ’em go, Let ’em go, Let ’em go (to the tune of Let it snow).
The Disempowerment Leech
When your self-esteem is strong, you can speak boldly and with confidence about who you are and what you do or want from life. Disempowerment happens when others don’t value what you do or what you want. I have felt this off and on in starting the road to entrepreneurship. Ouch!
For me, when I started in coaching and I was talking to people about the Law of Attraction, there were several times I would hear, “You don’t know that.” “I don’t know about that.” (That was the other person saying that – s/he did not know about what I was talking about – that person was also not studying the LOA, either.) Other comments I heard were, “That’s not true.” “You can’t say that.” Even though I knew what I was talking about had merit, I felt disempowered at times, because it felt like everyone to whom I spoke was making those comments. (Then I stopped focusing on them and focused on the end result of what I wanted – more like-minded people in my life.) But I did allow those comments to take away my power for a while.
Here’s another example – say your daughter or son wants to go to an Ivy League college, and someone else says, “Oh they let anyone in there now.” That comment can devalue her/his hard work and effort.
Any time someone devalues what you say, what you want, or what you do, it can steal your sense of accomplishment and pride. But, you can also put this leech on yourself. For example, you want to start an online crafts business and someone asks you want you do. If you downplay it, that can begin to deplete your self esteem; it diminishes the energy of what you want to do, and over time causes you to feel less confident about starting it.
Avoid downplaying your accomplishments or making light of your hard work. The problem that this leech causes with your self-esteem is that it can affect your perspective.
Because people did not always understand what I was doing or what I was about, I would downplay it. Because that was the energy I was putting out there, I was reaping the results of that energy, which was a whole lot of nothing.
You can recognize if you’re disempowering yourself by how you speak about yourself or your life. If you say, “I wish I could start my own business,” this is a disempowering way of thinking. Instead, change that to “I am starting my own business.”
Also, look at the results you are getting in your life compared to what you want to have. Your results are always a result of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Stand in your power. Whatever you are looking to do, someone else has already done it, so know it can be done – and it can be done by you too! Know it, affirm/afform it, and believe it.
Other people will try to disempower you because they do not believe they can do what you are looking to do, so they will put their stuff on you. Avoid allowing them to do so.
The Conforming Leech
This is the leech that looks at how things have been done and doesn’t see a way to do it any differently. Its strength is found in tradition, in the way that things have always been done instead of the way that things can be done better. It’s the “play it safe leech.”
This leech erodes your self-esteem by insinuating that your ideas are foolish – that there’s no way they’ll work because no one else has ever been able to accomplish that. “You can’t do that,” I used to hear…sometimes I still do, but I do not pay any attention today.
You can talk yourself out of trying anything if you allow the conforming leech to dictate what you do or don’t do in life. You might hear this referred to as the road not traveled.
The reason the road isn’t taken and new ventures sometimes don’t get off the ground is because people are afraid to stand out – afraid to run with an idea that others say can’t be done or is different from the norm. I have been there and done that – No more!
When you have an idea and you tell yourself that it’s foolish or you allow others to convince you that it’s foolish, your self-esteem takes a hit because you can start to believe that you’re not as smart as others who’ve found success.
Start believing in innovation again. That’s how life changes for the better. Stop putting limitations on yourself and free yourself from all of the chains that bind you. You are the one who put the chains on, so break free and be the unique individual who you are.
Allow yourself to be seen and heard – as long as it’s life-enhancing and helpful to others. When you do this, it gives other people permission to do the same.
We all came here for individual reasons. We need to be able to do what we came here for our way – of course, it’s great to ask for help – but still do it your way in the end.
Speaking of asking for help, if you need help with removing any of these leeches, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org so we can have a chat.
Here’s to your self-esteem that helps to empower others too!
Colleen Humphries, RN, Best-Selling Author, Speaker, Breakthrough Coach
Author of Deliberate Creation from A-Z: Living Your Life by Design
Unleash the Power of Your Mind – Breakthrough to Your Success