The Perfectionism Leech
This is a leech that again, is created by you. Yes, it can initially start with a parent, and as a child, you do not know that you do not have to take your parent’s opinions and comments to be your truth. What happens over the years is you do not not allow yourself the room to truly live. When you allow this leech to attach to your life, you don’t leave room for much good because this leech brings with it the waiting game.
You have to wait until everything is perfect for you to make that move personally and/or professionally. You don’t take chances with new ideas or ventures because perfectionism doesn’t welcome mistakes. And I already informed you about the Mistake Leech and add perfectionism to to it and you have an even bigger doozie with which to deal.
You can begin to develop an all or nothing mentality. Perfectionism is a terrible leech because it can leave you feeling bruised inwardly. You’ll beat yourself up every time you make a mistake.
And since you will make mistakes as long as you’re breathing, you’ll go through life thinking that you’ll never be able to do anything right. The perfectionism leech will convince you that you will never be good enough.
You’ll walk around believing that you’re a failure before you even attempt to do anything. This leech keeps you stuck in a life of wanting more but never having it because you would have to risk failure; and you cannot have that by George!
A way to release this leech is to realize, know and really be okay with the FACT that NO ONE is perfect! You are not supposed to be perfect. It’s not your job to be perfect. No matter what you heard growing up, in spite of your subconscious mind taking on what everyone else had to say, and despite the stories you made up, it is not your job or life purpose to be perfect…..although, I do say that you are perfect, whole and complete at any and all times. With that I mean, you are perfect in your humanism. You are perfect in making mistakes. You are perfect because you are YOU, warts and all!
Once you allow yourself to let go of being perfect, you may notice that you can breathe easier and deeper. You just may be able to smile and laugh spontaneously – wow, how great would that be? You may feel lighter because you are releasing something that is not healthy for you, the weight of perfectionism.
If you feel the need to be perfect, then be perfectly imperfect.
The Drama Leech
This is a leech who will take from you and make you absolutely miserable. You can experience this leech in many areas of your life.
With a drama leech, whatever is going on in her/his life is absolutely the most important thing – and you must help her/him deal with it immediately.
You may be expected to put your personal or professional life on hold in order to bolster this person up, and keep her/him from going under. When you do, you get sucked in every time s/he needs you.
This can destroy your self-esteem when it reaches the point to where you can’t be there every time this person need you because it’s impacting your life negatively. Your partner isn’t happy about the amount of time the drama takes you away.
You can’t concentrate at or on work because the drama leech is wrecking your time or taking over your thoughts. Your boss tells you that you’re just not keeping up at work, or a business partner feels let down by your lack of focus and commitment.
To deal with these kinds of leeches, you have to understand that for some people, drama is a lifestyle, even an addiction. While it may be true that they have problems, even a ton of problems, if you’re always the one who rescues them, you’ve entered into a co-dependent relationship. That is not healthy for you, your partner, or the drama leech.
This drama usually comes from toxic friends or family – but it can also be people in your professional life – and if you don’t rush in to rescue them, they turn on you.
They’ll say that you’re not doing enough to help them. You’re not loaning them money, holding their hand, rushing over every time they call. They’ll slap ugly labels on you or tear you down. You don’t have enough empathy. You’re mean. You don’t love them enough. How can you be so selfish?
When they say negative things about you, you can begin to believe the problem is you; especially if you’re dealing with several family members or professional acquaintances in a group who are drama leeches; it can be a big drain on you emotionally and physically.
It is okay to stop being the person upon whom this leech constantly leans. It’s the best thing that you can do. It’s good for you and for the other person, even if you find it difficult to let go in the beginning.
One of two things will happen: the drama leech will have to start handling her/his own problems; or s/he will find someone else to turn to for help.
Yes, this person will be frustrated in you. S/he may even lash out. But that’s because s/he’s not comfortable handling her/his own life obstacles. You don’t need to enable this person anymore.
Know that it is not your job to take care of everyone and everyone’s problems. It is not your job to make everyone happy. You can only be in charge of your own happiness (not that you cannot enhance someone else’s happiness or vice versa), so let go of the drama leech and stand in your self-esteem. Show the person how it’s done. S/he will either choose to follow in your footsteps or not. You need to take care of you.
Here’s to a life of high self-esteem,
Colleen Humphries, RN, Best-Selling Author, Speaker, Breakthrough Coach
Author of Deliberate Creation from A-Z: Living Your Life by Design
Unleash the Power of Your Mind – Breakthrough to Your Success