The Comparison Leech
This nasty leech is one that you put on yourself and you have all the trouble with this one. It can erode self-esteem pretty quickly and leave you feeling unhappy with your life – even if you have a pretty good one.
This leech makes you feel like you’re not doing a good enough job with handling your life because it fails to measure up to someone else’s. Even a multi-millionaire can suffer from this as s/he compares her/himself to a multi-billionaire.
The comparison leech piles on you when you feel jealous of someone else. You can experience jealously because they appear to have a partner or spouse who treats them better.
You can feel jealously because their house is nicer. Their car is newer. Their clothes are more expensive. Maybe they have a better job. Perhaps they can afford to do home renovations that you wish you could do. This leech could also be called the “Keeping up with the Jones’s leech!”
They get to take lavish vacations to places that you’ve dreamed of going. This kind of comparison robs you of living your life. You don’t know what’s going on in someone else’s life and looking at it from the outside can often give you a distorted view.
It could be that you have more freedom than they do; you are not in debt like they are and you’re not dealing with the emotional situations they’re hiding from the world. You never know what’s truly going on with someone else.
Get rid of this leech by recognizing and being grateful for the good that you have in your own life. Remember, the more gratitude you feel in your life, the more you have for which to be grateful. Start celebrating all the great things that are going on in your life, today and every day. Having a gratitude journal is a great way to keep track of the good in your life. Sounds a little cliche, but it is true. Let go of and refuse to allow negative feelings to tower over someone else’s seemingly good fortune.
The What Others Think of You Leech
This leech steals self-esteem, and it is created by you – oh yeah! You are making up stories in your own mind assuming that people are thinking thoughts about you that are less than kind. You believe that they’re having conversations and your name is being mentioned.
In these conversations, nothing good is being said. They’re surely discussing the way that you look. They’re talking about what you did or didn’t do. They’re discussing rumors they’ve heard about you.
Believing this makes you feel self-conscious and awkward. It robs you of what could be beautiful friendships and new opportunities because you shy away from these people or you keep them at arm’s length – afraid to say or do something that will give them more fuel to think about you or talk about you negatively.
You can get rid of this leech by realizing that other people really aren’t dwelling on you or your life. Everyone is far too busy to keep up with someone else’s life. They have all they can handle with their own. So stop the story in your head.
Even if you know that someone is talking about you, know this little tid-bit: what someone thinks or says about you is none of your business. (Say what?) It goes back to, it’s that person’s opinion and opinions are not facts. And their opinions have no place in your life.
Stay tuned for the Perfectionism Leech and the Drama Leech tomorrow.
Be true to yourself in your self-esteem,
Colleen Humphries, RN, Best-Selling Author, Speaker, Breakthrough Coach
Author of Deliberate Creation from A-Z: Living Your Life by Design
Unleash the Power of Your Mind – Breakthrough to Your Success