Did you know that no one can make you feel any particular way? It is a choice to feel angry or sad or happy! Our feelings are necessary and not meant to be squashed down inside of us. It’s just that no one is responsible for the way we feel except for ourselves. Hmmm, you say.
Let me start again with feelings are necessary. Each and every emotion has a reason for being. Our emotions let us know where we are on our Vibrational scale and therefore, how close we are to manifesting what we want (vs. what we don’t want.) Anger is necessary. It is a better emotion than Depression. It is recommended to feel the anger, and then move up the emotional scale to something like disappointment or skepticism to discontentment or frustration and so on. Feel the feeling. Acknowledge that you have it. Work through the emotion and move on.
But, no one can make you feel any emotions that you are not already feeling. Let me explain. If I were putting on a seminar and you were sitting in the audience with a bunch of other people and I walked up to you and said, “You have the most ridiculous green colored hair that I have ever seen.” How would you feel? Normally you probably would not have green hair (although there are green-haired people out there…) So again, how would you feel? Probably not much of anything because you don’t have green hair so my comment is not relevant to you. You may even think that I was color-blind and may feel sorry for me because I did not know that your hair was not green. You may even get a chuckle out of it thinking I was funny.
The point is, I did not make you feel bad, because I was not stating any truth there to elicit an emotion.
Now same scenario of being in the audience and I walk up to you and say, “You are the biggest idiot I have ever met. I knew it from the minute I first saw you. God, you are such an idiot.” How would that make you feel? Technically, that should not make you feel anything, especially if you know that you are not an idiot. OR you might think, “Wow, Colleen is so smart because she knew immediately that I was an idiot.” And if that was a thought in your mind because you feel like you are an idiot, then you will allow or choose to have that remark make you feel bad. But you chose to feel bad because that was something that you were already feeling. If you were not in a bad feeling place, that comment would not have mattered to you. Again, you might think, “Wow, there’s something really wrong with Colleen because her intuition is really off the mark. Poor girl, she hasn’t a clue as to what she is talking about.” Hahaha….
If you are already mad about something (it could be something you pushed down inside so you did not have to deal with it or because you wanted to be strong or you were being hard on yourself because, ‘you shouldn’t be mad at….’) and someone says something to you that is not a truth, the tendency is to get mad and blame the other person for your anger. A lot of people do that without realizing that no one can make you feel something unless you are already feeling that way.
If you feel good about yourself, then it does not matter what someone else says or does to change the way you feel. It goes along with the saying, “What someone thinks about me is none of my business.” Why is that? Because everyone is entitled to an opinion and it does not mean that their opinion is correct. If that person giving the opinion is in a bad mood, her/his opinion will reflect that mood. And it doesn’t matter, period.
You choose to feel good. You choose to feel bad. You have all day long to decide how you are going to feel. So how do you want to feel? As I wrote yesterday about affirmations, affirm feeling good! “I choose to feel good today.” Say it when you get up in the morning. “I choose to feel happy and grateful today.” And remember, no one can make you feel bad or even good. It is always a choice.
When I was working as a nurse and in the throws of Burnout, I chose to take on everyone’s bad feelings…from one room to the next. It was like I was a magnet to everyone’s bad feelings. And guess what? I was! Because I chose to take on their negative emotions or their feelings about being a victim, I attracted more of it. AND I blamed everyone else for my feelings. “Mr. So and So makes me so angry.” “Mrs. So and So makes my blood boil.” “I hate when Mr. So and So makes me feel stupid.” And the reality of it all, I wanted to be angry or have boiling blood (LOL), or I was already feeling stupid for what ever reason and I blamed it on someone else. If I know I am a smart…better yet…an intelligent woman, no one can make me feel stupid or less than.
Call to action: Stand in your power and let go of what others say or think about it and start doing that NOW! Choose to feel better as best as you can. Choose to feel your feelings and not the feelings of others and start doing that NOW!
If you are a nurse in experiencing Burnout, allow yourself to admit it and get the necessary help/coaching for it. There is no shame in it. It’s time to move on and to feel Better. Contact me for a complimentary strategy session to see how I can guide to feeling your best ever!