Do you have a self-esteem leech? That sounds pretty horrible and yet, a lot of people do and, usually more than one of them.
I have had some of these leeches in the past and I have been able to get rid of them over time, sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly. With persistence I have been able to remove them and catch them quickly when they attempt to sneak back in and take hold – as leeches do.
Because I am all about moving you into a successful mindset, having a self-esteem leech will definitely get in your way of success.
Having a healthy self-esteem means that you have confidence. You feel sure in what you can do. You like who you are as a person and you respect yourself. It means that you can see the value of being you. It also helps in being successful in any/every area of your life.
Self-esteem is important because how you view yourself guides what you believe and how you feel. It also impacts how others think and feel about you – and even treat you. Unfortunately, there are leeches that can latch onto your self-esteem and drain it dry. You may not even be aware of it.
You want to protect yourself against these kinds of people, and sometimes, that means making the difficult decision to distance yourself from people who are close to you.
Over the next few days, I will sharing with you 10 Self-Esteem Leeches and how to get RID of them.
The Negative Leech
This is a leech that can be found in conversations. You can recognize it because this leech will try to make you feel bad about yourself. The words sound okay, but are said in such a way that they erode how you feel about yourself.
An example of a conversation leech would be, “Your dress is beautiful. But it looks a little too small; it would look better on you if you’d lose a few pounds.” This is the sucker punch conversation.
The first part of it was kind and so you were relaxed and open. The blow came next – and you are caught off guard. It affects your self-esteem because you internalize it, making what was said about you – instead of the person who said it.
A great response back to help get rid of that leech and also shows your self-esteem is, “What benefit do you get out of making a statement like that? You have now made the person aware that her/his remark is unacceptable to you.
A leech can only walk away with your self-esteem if you allow it.
People who tell you that you’re ugly, fat, stupid, and/or worthless are self-esteem leeches. Stop giving them any more of your time. Avoid putting up with these types of comments.
You are not their beliefs. Those statements are a reflection of them, not you. But what’s worse than those kinds of negative leeches is when we become our own negative leech.
You tell yourself that you’re ugly, fat, stupid, and/or worthless. You erode your self-esteem yourself. No one is born with this kind of self-talk. You learn it from a self-esteem leech.
Once you adopt their behaviors and you’re saying this kind of stuff in your head every time you have to make a decision, you find your quality of life deteriorating rapidly, and therefore not obtaining the success you want in your life.
Know that you are perfect, whole and complete at all times. You are doing the best that you can do at any given time. Tell yourself you are awesome. I dare you to look into your bathroom mirror and tell yourself, “(Your name) ___________ – you are AWESOME! And I love you.” “Colleen, you are AWESOME and I love you!” Do that once in the morning and once in the evening and in a short period of time the negative leech will not bother you any more.
The Social Media Leech
This has become a huge leech and it’s growing bigger and sucking the self-esteem from millions of people. Social media has opened the door for so many people to become leeches.
One way is they bully and they tear down others, they drain away at the self-esteem of others in order to build themselves up. They say snarky comments to people that sting way down deep.
Most people take the comments of perfect strangers to heart and don’t take the time to recognize the comments for what they were – the attitude and actions from someone who doesn’t have the capacity for online maturity, or have any manners.
It is best to ignore comments that try to tear you down on your social media sites. There are many people who consider themselves expert trolls – whose sole purpose is to cause friction online. It’s their form of entertainment.
Another way social media can be a self-esteem leach if it causes you to look at someone else’s life and wish that were your life. What you need to remember is that social media presents a false balance of life to the world.
You only get a peek at it. The perfect house, the perfect family, the smiles and laughter and (possibly) edited photos that don’t show the true picture. Avoid letting these false representations tear down your self-esteem.
A lot of social media is embellished because people find it easier to present a better version of their lives – and it often greatly differs from reality. Keep in mind that many people are too self-conscious to speak up about the sad side of their lives.
There are a lot of opinions out there and people like to “share” them. Know this – opinions ARE NOT FACTS! People will say and think whatever they want and you do not have to take it personally.
Limit time of social media sites and when you are on them, be happy for the other people who share all of the “fun, happy” moments. If someone gives you an opinionated comment, let it go. Send the person some blessings her/his way. S/he really needs it.
Tomorrow, I will introduce you to the Mistake Leech and the Approval Seeker Leech.
Here’s to your increased self-esteem!
Colleen Humphries, RN, Best-Selling Author, Speaker, Breakthrough Coach Author of Deliberate Creation from A-Z: Living Your Life by Design
Unleash the Power of Your Mind – Breakthrough to Your Success ColleenHumphries.com